Choosing a guardian for your children

Why it matters

If both parents die, someone must care for the children and make decisions for them. Naming a guardian in your will tells your family, and if needed a court, who you trust with that role. Without it, others decide, sometimes after a dispute between relatives.

What your appointment actually does

A guardian named in a will isn't always the final word. In Ontario, for example, the appointment in a will only lasts 90 days after the last parent's death. Within that time, the person you named must apply to court, and the court decides based on the child's best interests. Your will still matters a great deal: it covers the first weeks, and it's strong evidence of your wishes. Other provinces have their own rules, but courts generally put the child's best interests first.

If the other parent is alive and entitled to care for the child, they usually continue to do so. A guardian in your will matters most when both parents have died.

How to choose

• Their values and parenting approach, and how close they are to your children.
• Their age, health and energy for the years ahead.
• Their home and family situation, including other children.
• Location: whether your children would change schools, communities or even countries. Living outside Canada can make the court process more complicated.
• Willingness. Ask them first. In Ontario, the person you name must consent to the appointment.

Try not to choose based on money: your estate, insurance and trusts can provide for your children's costs.

Always name a backup

Your first choice may be unable to act when the time comes. Naming an alternate guardian avoids a gap and gives the court a clear second choice that reflects your wishes.

Caring for your children vs. managing their money

Raising your children and managing the money they inherit are different roles, and they don't have to be the same person. Many parents leave their children's inheritance in a trust in their will, managed by a trustee until the children reach an age you choose, rather than letting it pass to them outright at the age of majority. In Ontario, a parent isn't automatically the guardian of a child's property, and managing a minor's property without a trust can require a court application.

Talk to the people involved

Tell your chosen guardian why you chose them, and share anything you'd want them to know about your children. Some parents also write a letter of wishes about schooling, religion, family contact or activities. It isn't legally binding, but it helps the guardian and the court understand what you wanted.